Faicess

Confused!!!!
;) today after a looooooooonnnnng time I am going to talk about failures in life.
Starts depressing huh!
How do we define failure. Its a negative emotion we get when we don't achieve anything physically or emotionally or even both ways. But have we tracked failure to its root. Nop.... What I think first time when someone would have used failure (it was not Shakespeare, I hope) it may be someone have give a name to a situation which is not resulting as he wants. Right!
Now what is success, success according to me is not the end product. It is the pleasure you get when you do something good for selfish purpose. Blunt huh!!!
And converting a failure to success is very easy. Just remove the word failure from your dictionary. Enjoyment is the biggest success we get when we do something. Have you seen someone who always spoils every mood just because of focusing on end product which he is anyways not going to get and in turn spoil everybody's fun. THAT is failure.
Just be on the moment. Enjoy. And people will wonder why you are so stable and they will always be jealous of your happiness until they themselves discover what you are doing.
Only this for now. C'ya

Insomnia

Why people cannot sleep! Sometimes they are very tired of their work and responsibilities but still when the lie on bed they are not at peace. They try even harder by popping pills and straining their eyes but the fluid inside their head is way too messed up. Its like fucking werewolf in the fucking full moon.

I think I described my condition just above. Well I can't sleep. I know the reason but still I am not doing anything to make myself better. I am getting panic attacks everyday because of my anxiety and I know how to be stable but when I am that anxious, the after effect of that leaves me nowhere but at square one. I know how I could avoid this anxiety disorder of mine but some how, maybe cuz of my laziness , I am not doing anything.

I am weak. I am messed up inside. But no one will understand me, except for one but I continuously used my personality to piss that person off. And now I know that my perception to that person have changed. I am not the same to that person as I was before. I am so messed up ryt now. And because of that I can't deserve the quiet night to sleep.

When I was little, my mom take my head on to her lap an tell me that I can sleep on her lap and when I will wake up, all my troubles will go away. I still remember that the magic happened every time. I doesn't happen now. Maybe cuz I don't have someone's lap to sleep my troubles away or maybe my thought process is so fucked up that I could never get the peace I deserve.

A very disturbing stuff to think abt people..
C'ya.
SHIVAM

Why so serious

Well it was a fine morning and I was stuck at the door or the jam packed bus (God bless BMTC). I literally don't have an inch to expand my diaphragm an catch a deep breath. I was collecting my ticket and change from the bus conductor when suddenly someone poked me on my shoulder. After managing to move around in that bus I got a look at the person who poked me. He was tall man , formally dressed but looked very frustrated. He shouted on me that whether I will move back to give him space to get off the bus or not. When he shouted, for a moment I was about to lose my temper coz I had a surgery a few weeks back and it was challenging enough for me to tak a bus ride when it was jam packed and above all a stranger shouting on me!!! Very hard to resist.

Suddenly I realized that he doesn't know my condition but I certainly do know his. How??
Because he can't see where is the pain in my body but I do know when I first took a glance on him. He is frustrated and want to get off the bus when its running at 50kmph. Fuck!! Then I sarcastically said that " could you please wait for a sec, an if you want to jump from a running bus you have to wait for that also cuz I don't have any room here." Everyone laughed and he felt weird but his frustrated face looks good then because he realized how rude he was to a complete stranger.

Then I thought why he was so messed up on the start of his day. Maybe because of his wife/roomies/parents or maybe he is so fed up of his work and he wants to get over with it ASAP. But this won't help at all.

People are now so little of empathy because of workload they are not supposed to take. They have their frustrations and they take that out on anyone they find.

Have a Lil fun. Go out for a week. Go to Goa . relax, enjoy, rejuvenate an then come back to work. It will not only take some stress off your shoulder, but also allows you to think clearly.

Have a good day.

Vowels

When we were young and we started learning English as a language, i remember first thing that my teacher taught me was Vowels. She described it as essential part of the language, as it has a major role in word formation. I cant think of any word which doesnt contain any vowel. It is required for a word to contain a vowel. Though many of you can point me out here that there could be exceptions.

I am not here today to teach abt English language, but instead i will emphasize here to look how can a little vowel is used to make a word complete. Likewise, in our lives, most of our life we're in search of our vowels  which can make us complete.

People never realize how many good things are there which can make them happy. Some are short term and some provides lifelong happiness. These small small things are vowels of our life. we more often concentrate on the things which don't make us happy with the intension to do something abt it. Neat, we all do dat, but in that process we forgot what we actually have, how to cherish them. After all, happiness is the only feeling which all we crave all of our lives.

So we all cud stop looking and searching for it, cuz its ryt there in front of you. Just observe and you will see the missing vowel of your life.

A little to think abt vowels

C'ya
Shivam

Choice of being better

Today was a hectic day at work. Almost 9.5 hrs sitting in front of computer screen nd struggling to make that machine work according to me, and when i say 9.5 hrs, im saying it literally, excluding time spent on lunch and evening snacks. But what i did in these hours?? Just observed where my fault could be in almost 3000 lines of code so that my employer can earn profit from me. Well that's one perspective, if you ignore the greediness of employer, what i ws doing ??

Well simply seeing where i cud be wrong. And every line i saw faulty is the point i knew, i was wrong and i cud have done that in some other way. I have literally tracked where my code ws not working. And finally i learnt something. That was a samall thing but it was awesome. Its simple and yet bounded by ignorance.

Only motive to tell my day at work is to see how observant u are. By tracking iur mistakes  we cud improve ourselves. Our lyf is bound in our attitude. But we cannot be so stuck up in ourselves so that we cudnt realize what is ryt or wrong for real. We have to lose that self pride we are bound to.

That's the quality of successful people. They periodically evalute themself in every sort of possible fields and further rectify their bad thoughts and imprive thier thinking. That builds confidence which is better than being a narcissist. That will also improve our thought process and after a certian peruod of time we cud start re-evaluating ourselves at the moment we are doing or saying something.

Thats how we cud be better, be awesome, be great.
Being great is not something people are gifted with, its our own choice. Choices do make our  lives. So always try to make a better choice.

Think wisely

C'ya
Shivam

OUR BUSY MINDS

Hello everyone.
Today morning i woke up early. I had some stuff to do. Unfortunately its not done cuz m overconscious abt it. Well i left home for office. Its a very bright sunny morning and after last night's rain, its very pleasant feeling to see a sunny day.
U knw the city i live in, Bangalore, is famous for its job opportunity, not in IT field but in variety of domains. Every morning i see people struggling to go to thier office and in evening they are in a hurry to come back home. People are so stuck in this life that they get only weekend to think of other things and relax a bit. I am not saying that every1 here hates thier job or is not satisfied with the work they're doing. Ive seen people who love this job, not because of high salary they get, though it could be a major reason, but because of they really like what they do. People often call them workaholic, but its not like that , they do so much of thier work because there is a driving force that makes them do thier work with such certain zeal. If they are workaholic, every sports person is workaholic, but no, people say that sportsperson are dedicated to thier sports. So we have to stop judging people an account of various bullshit, cuz we cant know exactly what a person wants. We definitely cant read peoples mind. So we cud stop making statements abt others.
Srry abt a bit diversion from what i actually wanted to write. Life here is so busy. When traffic signal goes off, the scene is like moto GP, everyone starts racing. They dont realize thats its just momentary, no one is getting any award for reaching office earlier than the person driving next to them, or living next to u. But people are satisfied with this life.
Satisfaction is a curse, it stops growth, mentally and physically, but throughout or lives we crave it.
So ironic huh!!! Physically we could be busy all day but that doesn't matter our minds should be. We can keep our mind calm and composed and think of what we really want to do in our lives and how cud we achieve that position in our life of which we have always dreamt of. Successful. People make thier minds work differently and accordingly at thier back of head, they control thier thoughts and ita processing. And i think it could help in every form. If we can control ourselves, we could control whole world, afterall world is what we see and wht we observe. Perception is all that matters. We cud be the person we want juat by controlling our thoughts.

Something heavy to think abt this morning.

C'ya
Shivam
 

RANDOM THOUGHTS N BED

You ever wondered why we think so much b4 we start to sleep. There is a wierd relatnshp between going to bed and random thoghts. It may be becuz u knw ure at completely rest and mental state is calm and that's where your imagination works. They may convert into dreams when you sleep.
it may be all that u want to do, that u think u can but cuz of sum resn u cant, or something or someone u really like, but they do come in our dreams. It happens becuz when we are in our dreams our subconscious mind works nd inside there our trueself lies.
What we can do is to control our subconscious mind, but that too is not a piece of cake. Like Swami vivekananda said, if we want to do something successfully think of that idea so much that u start living it. I think he talked abt activating our thoughts in our subconscious.
Do u ever expirience that if u think too much abt a person u have a crush on, u start dreaming abt it and in ur daily life u start to work on it. Thats ur thought converting into an action. The result of that action depends upon how consistent you are in moulding that idea strongly to a positive result in your subconscious nd consistently working on that in ur daily life.

Your thoughts can only convert ur life. Afterall you will become the person u think of. It is all the power of thoughts. It can make u better than the best or worst of worst. Its in your mind how big you can be or ur life could be.

A lil more to think abt. So think wisely.

C'ya
Shivam